In the early stages of his career, budding filmmaker Steven Spielberg faced a daunting challenge that could have spelled disaster for him.

While shooting the iconic movie Jaws, Spielberg and his crew were confronted with a major setback.

The mechanical shark, which had consumed a significant portion of their budget, repeatedly malfunctioned, causing extensive delays and rendering entire days of filming useless. It not only caused the film to go over budget, but also put it behind schedule.

Spielberg’s turning point came when he realized that the defective shark was not the main obstacle. 

Instead, he recognized that his approach to the problem needed to change, leading him to pivot his thinking and make significant script revisions.

This, ultimately, resulted in a shark movie without an actual shark. A revolutionary approach, it proved to be a stroke of genius as Jaws went on to shatter box-office records, becoming an all-time classic.

"Parents are not your problem. More likely, the problem is your approach to parents..."

The film’s triumph lay in the power of suggestion, with the absence of the shark creating a profound impact on the audience.

Like Spielberg’s faulty mechanical shark, parents in the game of rugby are not actually your problem, as some would like to tell you. 

More likely, the problem is your approach to the parents in your program. 

Rather than a solution to your ’shark problem’, we need a new perspective on the challenges of sports parents.

Parents can be valuable partners in your athletes’ development and, therefore, are part of the solution. 

By reshaping your relationship with parents and how you engage with them, you can change the story of your athletes and teams, resulting in more positive and beneficial outcomes.

Richard Weissbourd, professor of moral development at Harvard University and a guest on my podcast, offered this insight into the outcomes of effective coaching: “Coaches should recognize that, while there are advantages to creating a temporary space where children are insulated from family pressures, ultimately their job is not to rescue children from their families but to strengthen the tie between parent and child that is at the backbone of children’s healthy development."

Engaging with parents in the right way can lead to productive relationships that positively impact the lives of athletes. 

That impact isn’t limited to the playing field. Here are some ideas from my latest book, The Sports Parent Solution: Proven Strategies for Transforming Parents from Obstacles to Allies...