Dan Cottrell provides his advice for being effective and fair with the whistle.

Every other week, you will probably find yourself having to referee your own team.
What are the key tips to do this effectively, fairly, and with the least amount of stress?
Here’s our advice for surviving life with the whistle.
Be very tough at the start of the game on the tackle and ruck area. This helps set the tone for the game; the players will respond quickly.
The best way to do this is to check that there is always a fair contest for the ball. Though players may be going off their feet around the ball, as long as it is available to be played, let the game continue.
Call "ruck" as soon as there is contact over the ball. Then call "hands off".
But, if the defender has already legally got their hands on the ball before the ruck has formed, they can continue to do so, as long as they lift the ball off the ground. If not, then they must let go.
In other words, they have their chance to lift the ball before contact is made, but if they can’t lift it, then they must let go.
In mini rugby, this law is not in effect, so it’s unlikely you need to call "ruck" for an attacker crouching over a tackle on their own.
Most rucks will happen quickly. Shout out who has won the ball by calling the colour of the team. This creates a better flow to the game.
You could argue that it stops counter rucking. That’s your judgement at the time.
Referee hard the offside line at the ruck, erring on being over-cautious from the start.
This will allow the game to flow, and a flowing game means less players crowded around the ball, and so less chances for untidy rucks.
Though the strict definition of the end of a ruck is when the ball is beyond the back foot of the ruck, unless it squirts out, you should go with the law that the ball must have been lifted by the player who is clearing it, before the defence can come forward.
Whatever way you play this, the law is definite. Hands on by the clearing passer doesn’t mean the ball is out, only when it is lifted.
If players enter the ruck in addition to the specified numbers, penalise them only if it makes a difference to the outcome.
For instance, some players might join, realise on your command they shouldn’t be in there, and just drop out without stopping the ball being won.
Get the opposition coach to support your refereeing. That means, if you penalise their team, it’s their duty to remind their players what they need to do next time.
Admit that you will make mistakes. Keep chatting to them during the game, asking them where you could improve.
Firstly, use clear signals. Secondly, don’t react aggressively to criticism. Speak to the opposition coach first.
If a parent is making a difference, and keeps disagreeing with a call, speak to them when you are next close to them.
Say this first: “I understand you disagreed with that decision. I played what I saw from my view."
If they continue to disagree, ask: "Would you mind if we spoke about this at the end of this half?". Don’t say anything else – just keep repeating this question until they say yes.
Don’t stray on to the moral views of their intervention. You can deal with that after the game.
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