Bullying can equally come from a coach, especially when coaching a youth team. Tough coaching might be just bullying. Let’s look at the myths still being disseminated about bullying with young people. By Dr Jennifer Fraser
Tough coaching can be confused with motivation. However, it can also become emotional abuse. Bullying can be hard to detect because, when done by teachers and coaches, it’s often mistaken for passion and a demand for excellence. Parents believe in authoritative teachers and coaches who say they know what’s best for children.
Current studies by neuroscientists confirm that emotional abuse harms in serious ways. MRI imaging shows the physical harm done by bullying, not to the body, but to the brain. Bruises heal and broken bones mend, but neuroscientific research shows that emotional abuse can leave permanent scars on the brain.
Before we can start to address this as a serious problem, we need to address some myths.
01
Teens are almost adults and need to develop thick skins
While this is true physically, it’s just the opposite in terms of brain development. Teenagers’ brains are at a developmental stage that makes them as fragile as a 0- to 3-year-old child. If you wouldn’t allow a teacher or coach to yell or swear in the face of your baby or toddler, you shouldn’t let them do this to your teenager. Both toddlers and teens are at significant risk of developing PTSD due to their stage of brain development.
02
Bullying is actually tough love meant to make kids stronger
In fact, bullying causes a stress response that releases cortisol to the brain. That hormone has been directly linked to depression, a mental illness reaching epidemic proportions in our teen populations. Bullying can leave an indelible imprint because it affects hormones, reduces connectivity in the brain, and sabotages new neurons’ growth. None of this makes any child stronger, smarter, more artistic, or more athletic. It just harms his or her brain permanently.
03
Emotional abuse isn’t as serious as physical or sexual abuse
Bullying leaves neurological scars on the brain that can be seen on MRI scanners. What has surprised researchers is how closely these changes to the brain resemble those borne by children who are physically and sexually abused in early childhood. So parents who approve of teachers or coaches yelling, swearing, insulting, ignoring, and ostracizing students, all in the name of winning and achieving, should be aware it’s comparable to condoning sexual or physical abuse. For instance, MRIs show that the brain’s pain response to exclusion and taunting is identical to its reaction when the body is physically hit or burned.
04
Bullying is just part of growing up
Neuroscientists are clear that a positive, supportive environment will allow teens to flourish, but a toxic environment will cause them to suffer in powerful and enduring ways. Bullying does not stop when students leave school. The brain changes are long-term, and the emotional scars may last a lifetime. Therefore, neuroscientists say it is urgent that we confront the “scourge of bullying.” As bullying is learned behavior, we must ask ourselves tough questions about where children learn that bullying is a way to get ahead, achieve, and excel. Is it being taught by teachers and coaches, and condoned in educational settings?
05
Students and athletes reach their potential under bullying regimes
Brain cells grown in childhood are still used in adolescence and form new connections, while those that go unused wither away. Hence, the adolescent period can make or break a child’s intelligence. This is exactly why cortisol is so devastating when released into the brain by bullying: it damages brain structures affecting learning, memory, concentration, and decision making. Therefore, a teacher or coach’s bullying regime will never lead children to fulfil their potential. Instead, it will stunt them in serious and lasting ways.
Dr Jennifer Fraser is an author and educational consultant. You can find out more about her book Teaching Bullies HERE