7 ways to deal with criticism

It is sometimes said that criticism is “prejudice given plausibility”. In other words, people who don’t know what they are talking about, or are biased, telling you what they think about you with some authority. Knowing that doesn’t always makes us feel better when a player offers criticism. You need to make sure you deal with it in the right way.

1. Detach

Criticism is normally of your actions not you. Therefore, detach any personal angst from what is being said. You are working hard to coach well and that should not be undervalued by anyone.

You are also capable of making mistakes trying to improve the team. Listen to that, not the personal aspects.

2. Understand your critic is a player and you are coaching players

Criticism is always worth listening to if it comes from a player. Your job is to coach players and they have views, good and bad, on what you are doing. There may be merit in what they are saying, which might mean you can adjust and improve sessions.

3. It might be just one critic

How many players hold the same view or is it just one lone voice? One player’s view might just be that – but you can use it as a signal to check if you need to adjust your coaching.

4. Find more critics

Once you have received criticism, check with other players whether they also think the same. Of course, this is quite a brave thing to do. The warning signal from one player might be more persuasive if a couple of other players agree. However, it might be that they disagree...

5. Ask questions

Once you have received the criticism, take the opportunity to drill down into the reasons behind it.

Be careful not to be aggressive or defensive in your line of enquiry. Instead ask open-ended questions to help you understand what is exactly being said and probably more importantly, make the critic feel like they have been listened to.

Try questions like: Can you explain what you meant by...? What is an example of...? How would you improve...? How would you implement the change you have suggested? The ball is then in their court to suggest solutions.

6. Accept when you need to accept criticism, AND IGNORE THE REST

There are three types of criticism: Accurate, inaccurate or different. Accurate criticism you will want to act on. Inaccurate you can reject. Finally, there may be views which are different to yours and do not fit your philosophy. You can reject this too, while acknowledging to the player that it might be valid in another context. For instance, the player might want to spend more time on one part of their game, while you want to develop them in other areas.

7. Thank your critics

Because you want to have a dialogue with your players, you should be open to talk to. If you are criticised, then there is no better way to show you are strong and in control by saying thank you for their views.

Only by listening to the players will you become more effective at coaching them better.